how to describe this feeling?

if i were to describe it as a glass of wine... then it would be a drop of sadness swirling in 无可奈何ness.

a phone conversation with you makes me feel like its an obligation to you. one can sense such things.

over sensitive?

or maybe i'm just not used to your style. when will i ever feel certain that what u've said before in cards and letters that i do mean something to you as a friend is true?

remember what you wrote in my autograph book before...
why do birds suddenly appear
everytime, you are near
just like me, they long to be
close to you...

sometimes friendship feels like its a game. i dont understand why words said/written and actions portrayed give instead a contrasting feeling.

on another note, i read your latest blog entry my dear. and i wish i could do something about it for you... like, alert that 'the first' to what u've eloquently expressed...

i guess, some things, i'll never understand. i'll just commit them into the hands of my loving Lord.

on anoter happier note, i lunched and shopped with my dearest today :) i love what you gave me!!! thank you!!! hehe... so obliging of you muahaha :) i'm such an idiot for forgetting to bring out what i intended for you! and, i really like the photos of us. you look so ... full of life and happy and smiley :) that was a good talk we had today :)