hmmmm. its been a while since i had such a heart to heart chat. someone else i feel like REALLY talking to in the batch... youwei TAN! heh.
RSPCH.
who wants to join the Royal Society Of Prevention of Cruelty to Humans? (",)
there are some people in my life (who were in my life?) whom i'm uncertain about taking the initiative to talk to or to keep in contact with. Whether they still consider me a part of their lives, whether they're happier (or indifferent) to my presence. i don't want to intrude into their lives if i'm not welcomed, so unless they take the initiative, i won't from henceforth.
。。。 。。。
the mysteries of friendship. the intricacies are mind boggling; the nuances, fascinating.
how what was once perceived by all around and even those involved as a true friendship, at the end of the day simply vanishes without a single trace, like only the whiff of smoke left when the magician waves his wand?
how that which brought so much joy, leave behind nothing but pain? which evolves into bitterness and maybe even hatred?
how can love mutate into nonchalance?
how can people use the power they hold from the friendships they 'own', to cause deeply searing pain? to numb their own pain? or because we all have that streak of meanness in us?
how can people take for granted someone who prioritises them so much?
why does one keep letting oneself be hurt by the same situation/person?
at times, i really can't help but ponder. :P
。。。 。。。
through talks and thoughts, i derive precious lessons.
rejection. is part and parcel of life. therefore, to accept rejection.
( cruelty is also part and parcel of life, for that matter.... hmmm. we practise it on others, and others practise it on us as well. why do we practise such vileness? erks )
paradoxes. ironies that mock us. little ironies -laughs-
time that we invest wrongly.
。。。 。。。
maybe its partly that the older i grow, the more i feel.
but at times, the realization really hits me, and i tear, i cry. i see my grandfather lying there... i see how he was... i regret...
i dont want to regret this way with the rest. its ironic, though, that its only at such at occasion that i really get to know my cousins/relatives better. that we get to eat at the same table, have meals together, and really interact.
at the same time, there's that issue of religious practices. but anyway.
a cousin said i became more chatty. he asked, who influenced me?
i replied ( cheekily of course! ), grow up liao, not so scared anymore, won't let myself get bullied by u all la! talk more good ma, entertain everybody. -laughs again-
oohhhh i adore my nieces and nephew!!! i just find them so so SO endearing... hehehe :D
.........................................
gong gong, wherever u are, i hope you rest in peace. God bless your soul.
RSPCH.
who wants to join the Royal Society Of Prevention of Cruelty to Humans? (",)
there are some people in my life (who were in my life?) whom i'm uncertain about taking the initiative to talk to or to keep in contact with. Whether they still consider me a part of their lives, whether they're happier (or indifferent) to my presence. i don't want to intrude into their lives if i'm not welcomed, so unless they take the initiative, i won't from henceforth.
。。。 。。。
the mysteries of friendship. the intricacies are mind boggling; the nuances, fascinating.
how what was once perceived by all around and even those involved as a true friendship, at the end of the day simply vanishes without a single trace, like only the whiff of smoke left when the magician waves his wand?
how that which brought so much joy, leave behind nothing but pain? which evolves into bitterness and maybe even hatred?
how can love mutate into nonchalance?
how can people use the power they hold from the friendships they 'own', to cause deeply searing pain? to numb their own pain? or because we all have that streak of meanness in us?
how can people take for granted someone who prioritises them so much?
why does one keep letting oneself be hurt by the same situation/person?
at times, i really can't help but ponder. :P
。。。 。。。
through talks and thoughts, i derive precious lessons.
rejection. is part and parcel of life. therefore, to accept rejection.
( cruelty is also part and parcel of life, for that matter.... hmmm. we practise it on others, and others practise it on us as well. why do we practise such vileness? erks )
paradoxes. ironies that mock us. little ironies -laughs-
time that we invest wrongly.
。。。 。。。
maybe its partly that the older i grow, the more i feel.
but at times, the realization really hits me, and i tear, i cry. i see my grandfather lying there... i see how he was... i regret...
i dont want to regret this way with the rest. its ironic, though, that its only at such at occasion that i really get to know my cousins/relatives better. that we get to eat at the same table, have meals together, and really interact.
at the same time, there's that issue of religious practices. but anyway.
a cousin said i became more chatty. he asked, who influenced me?
i replied ( cheekily of course! ), grow up liao, not so scared anymore, won't let myself get bullied by u all la! talk more good ma, entertain everybody. -laughs again-
oohhhh i adore my nieces and nephew!!! i just find them so so SO endearing... hehehe :D
.........................................
gong gong, wherever u are, i hope you rest in peace. God bless your soul.
5 Comments:
hello dear girl :) i've been trying to talk to you on msn but it seems like you're always away heh.
Sorry to hear about your grandfather.. -huggles- Our God is a just and merciful God, just pray for his soul yah :)
And may I just let you know that you ARE a big part of my life and I would very much like for you to 'interfere' in it ;) haha.. see you next Sunday! :D
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parallels of friendship.. i always wonder why we seem to be the unlucky ones.. take care
fifififi!!!!
so sorry my dear. i always never reply u. btw, i've been wanting to tell u that me is keen to go holiday with u! lets go vietnam!!! i'm serious! haha. for he big time europe one, we save that for err after grad k? hehe :D
anonymour: thanks =) whoever u are, u take care too...
"there are some people in my life (who were in my life?) whom i'm uncertain about taking the initiative to talk to or to keep in contact with. Whether they still consider me a part of their lives, whether they're happier (or indifferent) to my presence. i don't want to intrude into their lives if i'm not welcomed, so unless they take the initiative, i won't from henceforth."
we're always waiting for someone else to make the first move... maybe it's time to change that?
~crystal
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